Querida, Means beloved
by ladyoflitany
Summary: An alternative ending to book fours mediator series: Young blood. What if dosent all go to plan when Suze tries to save Jessie in the afterlife. Bittersweet with plenty of fluff and romance. A fanfic worth your time I promise :).


Disclaimer: all characters and story's belong to Meg Cabot. But I wish they were mine. Stares at Jessie dreamily, backs away when spike (the cat) growls menacingly.

Warning: do not read unless you have read book four of the mediator series. The plot and its characters will make no sense unless you do. I wanted to write an alternative story when Suze tries to rescue Jessie from the afterlife and it dosent all go to plan (In this one Paul slater isn't a mediator, sorry girls he annoys me). Be warned it's bittersweet with lots of fluff.

"Querida" Jesses rough voice rubbed against my skin, sending shivers down my spine. We stood in 'the other world' Jesses grip on my arm tightened. I swallowed the tears building up behind my eyes. I was a mediator I had a job to do. I remembered Father Doms words. I must, must not use my feminine 'wiles' or any other tricks to convince Jesse to come back with me. As if that was even a possibility. The doors along the corridor seemed to beckon to me, glowing brightly in the dimly lit corridor. I checked my watch 8 minutes to go.

"Let's go home" jesses callused hands crushed mine in a warm grasp he started dragging me back to the portal between this world and ours (mine I mean mine, I cursed myself).

"Wait" I dug my heels in almost smacking into Jesse. As he whirled round in anger. The tiny scar over his right eyebrow glowed white. His eyes hardened to solid coals and he glared at me. Panic warring with anger on his face. I tried to take a step back nervously but jesses hands clamped over my shoulders. The warmth of his touch sank through my bones sending tiny little shivers to the soles of my boots. I ignored this, focusing on the wild pulse beating against the base of his throat. I had the oddest urge to kiss it. I checked my watch 5 minutes to go. "Jesse if you go back now I don't know if I can solve your unfinished business, you might be stuck there for another hundred and fifty years" my squeaky voice trailed of. The tears were falling freely now. I hated crying especially in front of Jesse. Is this what you wanted Father Dom?! I thought sarcastically, I didn't exactly look attractive with my red puffy eyes and snotty nose. "If you go back now, you might never return" I carried on through clenched teeth.

"Nombres des dios, Susannah!" Jesse swore. I laughed in shock, I had never seen Jesse this animated or passionate. "You are the most stubborn girl! You are my home, we'll figure out the rest later. Right now we need to get you back to your body" I didn't breathe I couldn't, my chest was filling with a feeling I didn't want to examine to closely. I grabbed Jessie's shirt, he exclaimed in surprise as I pressed my lips against his. He tasted sweet like apples, jesse released his grip on my arms and slid them down to my waist pulling me closer, he growled in the back of his throat. The kiss was no longer sweet. He captured my lower lip and nipped on it gently. I (am ashamed to say) completely melted into his arms. My mouth exploring his, my fingers digging into his shirt as if I could somehow get closer. "I want this" Jesse whispered between kisses his eyes glowed with faintest hope my heart swelled. 'This time with you wether it's in this life or the next. Susannah you died for me, let me live for you". Could a girl really argue with that?

"Exorcized" I mumbled stupidly, as Jesse returned to my lips like a man starving for air.

Some part of me still thought I was dreaming, this couldn't be real. Jesse loved me really loved me. Could I really be this happy? I remembered what the psychic had said to me and Gina that day at the fair 'there will be only one, for you, for this life, for eternity". I know it sounded like cheesy fortune teller crap. But the way Jesse was kissing me right then the way my heart thundered in my ears, the strength I found when he was with me? Yeah I was a believer, big time.

"What..." Jesse broke away in confusion my stomach clenched when I saw the look in his eyes desire clouded them making them black.

"Well technically I'm not dead, you see Father Dom caught me with a bag of chicken blood and some voodoo spells, which let me tell you IS NOT good for your new fall wardrobe...I mean have you seen how cute this dress is..." I trailed of rambling, Jesse looked adorably confused. "To cut a long story short Father Dom agreed to help exorcise me, to see if you...you know wanted to return. Because the bitch Maria got that jake kid to exorcise you. And I had only half an hour to see..." I gasped in surprise. Jesse let go of my waist and in one smooth manoeuvre swung me into his arms. I was a littler breathless and smug actually. I liked the feel of his arms around me. Jesse's face however was grim and he was striding towards the direction of the portal.

"How much time?" He asked grimly. My smug smile vanished instantly. Panic settled in my gut. I glanced at my watch nervously.

"3 minutes" I said cringing. I was almost glad I hadn't taken Spanish, as the sound of jesses cursing grew. It's sound bouncing of the corridor walls. The portal was nowhere insight we both stared uselessly at the swirling mist below our feet.

"Call the gatekeeper" jesse ordered his grip around me tightening. I was to busy thinking about the people I'd never see again, my mum she'd be so worried. Gina, Father Dom. I'd even miss Dopey! "Susannah" jesse said desperately shaking me. Well I wouldn't miss EVERYTHING about dopey. The way he drank milk from the carton was disgusting..and he had more biceps than brains but still... "Susannah snap out of it, call him now". But I didn't KNOW how. It wasn't like magic where I could summon him with a wave of my hands.

A figure materialised at the end of the corridor. His muscles would have put Hercules to shame. The gatekeeper strolled towards us looking unimpressed. I looked up at the ceiling wishing for Jimmy choos, nothing happened.

"Querida, well done" I blinked, I hadn't done anything. But far be it from me to correct jesse when he was dishing out words of praise. He put me lightly on my feet, "wait here" he muttered. Walking towards the Gatekeeper with determined strides. I glanced at my watch 2 minutes to go.

"We need to find the exit" Jesse glared up at the gatekeeper even though the giant in question was a good foot taller dressed in a Gladiators outfit and carrying a wicked looking axe. The gatekeeper stared at him impassively. The mist in the floor a few yards behind him parted revealing a dark whole in the floor it seemed to suck the light from the room.

"Gracias, amigo" Jesse sighed in relief patting his shoulder he walked towards the portal and held his hand out to me. His eyes expectant. I checked my watch one minute to go. I hurried towards Jesse only to be stopped by the Gatkeepers wicked axe. Its curved edge stopped inches from my heart. Behind him Jesse tensed. His eyes glinted dangerously, his fists clenched. I shook my head once. Then looked at the gladiator, he looked at me coldly.

"I didn't grant you passage here to save him" He said meaningfully. His eyes looked like dark depthless pits. I shivered.

"Plans change, you have no right to keep me here against my will" at least I hoped he didn't.

"I do not" he said and withdrew his weapon and stepped aside. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and rushed to Jesses side. His face was white the urgency was clear in his eyes.

"Till we meet again Susannah" the Gatekeeper said a little dramatically in my opinion, before turning and disappearing once more into the mist.

"I would say it was a pleasure to meet you but..." My witty retort was cut short as Jesse the love of my life, muttered a quick apology and shoved that's right SHOVED me through the portal. I felt myself tumbling backwards into the darkness the corridor to the otherworld disappearing. The last spot of light I saw was jesses face as he was climbing down after me. This is what alice must have felt like when she tumbled down the rabbit whole I thought absently as I floated slowly back to earth my vision darkened.

I shot up with a gasp. I was in the church. My hands touched solid floor. I sighed in relief. Until I looked at my hands and saw the faint familiar glow. My chest felt heavy, something was wrong. I glanced quickly around me, father Dom was crumpled beside the altar near me. A bust of the Virgin Mary lay at his feet. A dark red liquid spilling from an open wound to the head Maria de silva I thought grimly. She was kneeling almost as if in prayer over a circle of flickering candles her hands wrapped around my lifeless body, I took a step towards her. Just as Jesse materialised at my side.

"Querida" Jesse said anxiously. I nodded towards father Dom "check on him, Iv got this" Jessie stared at me for one long moment then rushed to Father Ds side. Searching for a pulse. I didn't want to dwell on that. I marched over to Maria grabbing a fistful of her dark locks and yanked her head back. She let go of my body with a yelp of surprise. I noted with some satisfaction. As I brought my knee to her face and slammed her head into it. The cartilage in her nose broke with a satisfying crunch. She tumbled to the floor her face bloody. I raised my foot just as a figure emerged from the shadows.

"I wouldn't do that If I was you" Felix Diego chuckled a knife pointed at little Jacks throat. I closed my eyes groaning. Jack must have followed us into the church trying to make amends.

"Suze" he whimpered kicking uselessly at Felix Diego's shins. It was no good it was like a kitten pawing at a lion.

"Let him go Felix" I growled. "Or I send your wife back to hell" the Lifeless lump on the floor that was Maria moaned trying to pick herself up. That was the annoying thing about ghosts there injuries healed almost instantly. But there souls still remembered the pain from when they were human. I used my new Jimmy choo mules (not the best ghost busting outfit il admit, but they did look cute) to keep Maria there. She gave up with an undignified huff.

"By the time you have done the boy will be dead". Over Felix's shoulder Jesse materialised. I didn't avert my gaze from Felix afraid to give anything away. He nodded once. I almost let out a sigh of relief Father Dom was ok just knocked out from the blow to the head, he would live. Which Is more than I can say for the poor broken bust of the Virgin Mary. And I though Maria and Felix Diego were supposed to be good practicing Christians. Jesses face was set in a mask of livid rage. Even in situations like this I never failed to be floored by his beauty. He stepped slowly towards Felix.

"Let the boy go, and il give you back your wife no one needs to get hurt." I said calmly. Felix just laughed his grip on Jack loosened slightly.

"Jesse NOW!" I screamed. Felix looked confused. Jack finally aimed a well placed kick to the shins. Felix grunted dropping the knife it clattered to my feet. Jack broke free running into my open arms. Jesse launched himself onto Felix's back they tumbled to the ground, kicking and cursing. Jesse I thought, deserved a little justice.

"Suze, I'm so sorry it's to-"

"It's not to late." I cut Jack of "quickly grab father Doms book there's a passage on exorcism, bring it to me". Jack took of to the alter. I grabbed Maria by the hair and started dragging her to a spot next to the pews. Maria kicked and screamed her hands scraping against my skin. It was no use, ghosts healed quickly.

"You won't get away with this" she spat her normally beautiful face twisted in a cruel mask of hatred. No wonder Jesse didn't want to marry this woman I thought with a stab of satisfaction.

"Save it for someone who gives a damn" I muttered and landed a solid punch on her jaw that knocked her out cold. She sprawled on the floor face planting the cold stone floor of the church. I didn't move her. I grabbed the candles surrounding my body only sparing it a glance my already screamy skin was pale. My dark locks hung in lifeless lay around my shoulders. My eyes and neck were bruised, I shuddered once, then left.

Jesse and Felix were still locked in a deathly brawl at the other end of the church. Although Jesse was certainly seemed to be enjoying himself as he landed blow after blow on Felix who just continued to growl and curse.

I rearranged the candles around Maria's still form, she didn't seem to want to fight me anymore, her job was done.

Jack arrived at my side handing me the book. We found the right passage and began to read aloud. I corrected some of the words Jack struggled with (they were in Latin). The words didn't matter so much I think as the intent behind them. It was a way to channel our power. Smoke began to whirl around us . Maria's body lifted from the ground she looked...peaceful despite everything. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing I thought, the life beyond.

"NO!" Felix roared breaking free of Jesses grasp. And launching himself At his wife, it was no use the smoke enveloped them though Felix's cries of fury Echoed throughout the church as we finished chanting. The room was deathly still when we had finished. Near the altar Father Dominic stirred, groaning loudly. I smiled a little sadly.

Jack buried his head in my lap and began to sob. I stroked his hair almost maternally Jesse rose to his feet. "Querida" he whispered worriedly. I shook my head through my tears once more as he crouched beside us his arm around my waist.

"We were to late, Maria got to me before we had a chance. That's what the gatekeeper meant, he granted me passage to find you because I was already dead."

"No dios no!" Jesse rushed over to my body. "It's not to late" he said shaking my empty shell. My body hung there limply in his arms. He buried his face into my hair his own sobs muffled against my cold skin. "This is all my fault" he whispered.

I let go of Jack. And made my way over to Jesse placing an arm on his back gently, squeezing he released my body. Laying it gently on the cold stone floor. For the first time I looked sort of angelic hair fanned out in a halo around my face.

"It's not, baby it's really not" Jesse grapped the hand that gripped his shoulder tightly and brought it to his lips. "Why did the gatekeeper let you back, if you were already dead when you found me, you had no unfinished business"

I shook my head and laughed despite everything. "Nombre des dios, but you are stubborn" I said in a poor imitation of Jesse he looked at me his dark chocolate eyes gleamed with sorrow. I wanted to wipe away the pain in his eyes. " you are my unfinished business Jesse, as I'm yours, I couldn't rest until people knew the truth about you. But Cee Cee will be publishing the truth about your murder, soon everyone in Junipero high school will know Maria and Felix plotted to kill you, your name will be cleared."

"It was never about that Susannah. It was always about you, I think I waited a hundred and fifty years to meet you. You are my unfinished business" he rested his forehead against my own. I closed my eyes tears of happiness trailing down my cheeks. Who knew death would turn me into such a cry baby.

"Jack call the police" I called."tell them there was a break in at the church. The attackers broke in and father Dominic tried to fend them of. Tell them I had too pick something up from school and I took you back with me while I was babysitting, tell them we heard the shouts and tried to help"

Jack stood drying his eyes on his sleeve and nodded solemnly "il tell them you were a hero suze".

I laughed "I'm no hero kid but thanks" I smiled lamely.

"Your mine" he said seriously, his little blue eyes gleamed fiercely. "Even before Felix, if you hadn't taught me about mediating, about helping them I'd still be scared." My throat felt suddenly swollen. I just nodded. Jesse seeming to understand hugged me smiling proudly, I buried my face in his shoulder.

"Run along and call them Jack. The sooner you do the sooner you can help father Dominic". Jack nodded and took of, the clang of the big wooden church doors echoing in his wake.

"We're still here" Jesse glanced up at the heavens as if expecting a clap of thunder or a man with a hood and scythe. I laughed standing and tugging him with me Jesse went willing his hand tightly woven in mine. I was great full despite my brave face Jessie was the only reason I was standing.

"We still have some things to sort out" I smiled wryly. Making our way over to father Dom I wanted to wait with him until the paramedics arrived. "like who will look after your furball spike" I said in mock horror. Jesse raised an eyebrow not amused, his chest swelled with maternal pride. I noticed that some of the pain had disappeared from his eyes. "He is not a furball, he's just misunderstood...like you" he added slyly. It was my turn to raise my eyebrows "if your not careful il give him to dopey" I threatened only half joking. The cat was a moody ball of fur, even half its ear was missing! Jesse shuddered. "We'll leave him with Jack" I amended. Jesse paused nodding thoughtfully.

"He'd like that"

We crouched by father Dominic. I wanted to move him to make him more comfortable but Jesse said it would look suspicious if we damaged to much of the crime scene it had to LOOK like a break in he said. So I rested Father Ds head in my lap until we could hear the faint sound of Sirens. Fathers Doms eyes fluttered open, he struggled to sit up.

"Susannah" his keen blue eyes widened taking in mine and Jessie's concerned faces. He noticed my luminescent glow. I held him down and he tried again to sit up, understanding flooded his eyes.

"Shh, don't move." I said in what I hoped was a soothing voice. Apparently being dead didn't make you angelic and all knowing. "You've lost a lot of blood. You can't move until the paramedics arrive.

"Susannah, I should have stopped them, I didn't think they would enter a holy ground. I didn't know" I shushed his protests. He gripped my arm tightly resting his head against my knee as I explained to him what Jack had gone to tell the police.

"I just wanted to thank you, for everything you've done. If it wasn't for You Father D, I would still have been alone. You were so much more than a friend to me" I gripped his hand more tightly. Jesse kissed the top of my head, despite everything we had each other than in itself was pretty amazing.

"Il take care of her" Jesse promised holding Father Dominic's gaze, the old priest nodded once. I could hear the crunch of cars on gravel now. I laid fathers head against the floor beneath us. Despite my warnings he struggled into a sitting position adjusting his glasses and discreetly wiping away a tear I pretended not to notice.

"It's not goodbye forever, you'll see us again." I smiled at him warmly.

"Susannah, another exorcism will take time...why don't you stay" father D said carefully. "See your family..." I shook my head and cut him of with a wave of my hand.

"It will be painful there is nothing I can do for them, they can't see me. And they'd think you were crazy for trying, besides I don't need magic words this time." I turned till I was wrapped in Jesses arms I gazed at him lovingly. Jesse brushed a strand of hair from my face, caressing my cheek his fingers stroking the back of my neck.

"Jesse what does Querida mean?" I asked the question I'd been to scared to ask since we first met.

"It means beloved" he answered simply brushing his lips against mine. In a kiss so tender and heartbreaking I felt my eyes start to water again.

"I love you Jesse de Silva, that was the last thing I needed to say" As soon as I said the words a warmth began to spread from my toes. The room around us began to blur a felt a tug from some unknown force as I felt Jesse tenderly cradle me once more "Querida" he whispered once more in my ear. The words were enough.

"Goodbye Dominic" I whispered as we vanished from this world leaving behind nothing behind but dust, and the empty shell of me.

Years later (I couldn't just leave it there :p, I'm not that heartless)

Father Dominic lay in his bed. Memories washing over him in the blink of an eye. The nurse had come in to tell him he had a visitor. The tall young man hovered against the wall of the hospital room. He had broad shoulders and a handsome face his deep blue eye sparkled with sadness and warmth.

"Hello old friend" he said warmly. Hands shoved awkwardly in his pockets. He was in his early twenties now. He was dressed in a dark designer shirt and jeans and carried with him a new found confidence, Father Dominic was pleased to see.

"Jack, my boy it's good to see you" they had kept in contact over the years. Father Dominic, giving him advice, mentoring him when he could. Imparting wisdom with him so Jack could pass it on to the next generation of mediators. Father Dominic had become a sort of father to the boy his own parents and older brother didn't share his mediating gifts.

"I have a surprise for you" Jack smiled and wrapped his knuckles on the door. "Come out Suze" Dominic gasped. His heart seized in his chest. A pale glowing figure materialised in front of him. She looked exactly the way she did the day she died. In a black dress with pink rose buds decorating the hem and neckline. Her long brown hair fell over shoulders in waves. She didn't look a day over 16.

"Hello Father D" Suze said nervously. She glanced over at Jack and winked. "Times been good to you Jack" Jack chuckled and raised his hands In mock defence.

"Don't tell Jesse that, I like my face the way it is". Suze rolled her eyes playfully. "Jesse thought it best I come alone"

Father Dominic couldn't see past the tears in his eyes. His heart felt content. For the first time in a long time he felt peaceful his family was around him. "It's time then" he asked. Susannah and Jack stood either side of his bed clasping his hands.

"Mmm almost" Susannah shrugged. "They don't exactly have digital watches up there" with her other hand she gestured towards to ceiling. Jack sniggered. Father Dominic looked at Susannah sternly.

"I thought you were at rest" he said remembering that awful day. Susannah cocked her head to the side as if to say 'well duh'.

"Of course I am, we were waiting for you. I told you it wasn't goodbye". She said almost cheekily. "Just answer me one question Father D, was it Sister Erstines cooking? I always knew it was lethal" she scrunched her nose up in disgust.

"Suze!" Jack said shocked. Reminding Father Dominic of that innocent little boy he first met. To both there surprise Father Dominic just laughed. Susannah grinned and squeezed his hand tightly.

"Now it's time" Dominic stared. He didn't remember standing. With a weird sense of disorientation. He looked back at his body a smile still on his lips. Jack looked at us sadly, and pressed a call button for the nurse.

"I always feel like I'm saying goodbye" he said a little sadly.

"Live life for us Jack, don't waste everything we taught you" Susannah whispered.

A faint light appeared behind a door at the end of the corridor as they turned there backs on Jack. Susannah led Father Dominic by the hand. Almost like a mother guiding her child. It was odd Dominic thought staring at his hands he hadn't felt this good in years. His wrinkles had disappeared, he could walk again for the first time In months. Death he decided as he caught a glimpse of a younger version of himself in one of the ward mirrors wasn't such a bad thing.

"So what's the afterlife like then?" He said conversationally. Susannah just rolled her eyes ignoring his question.

"Are you an angel?" He asked curiously. This time Susannah snorted.

"Father please, be serious"

"Am I?" He grinned playfully, Susannah stared at him in surprise she hadn't seen father Dominic this light before there was a spring in his step.

"What makes you think there is a heaven, we might even be reborn" Susannah quipped.

"Either way were all stuck with each other" Dominic retorted. Susannah own eyes sparkled as they reached the end of the corridor. She pushed open the glowing door light flooded father Dom's eyes,blinding him.

"Wouldn't that be fun?" She teased pulling him inside.

Authors note: Wow can't believe I wrote that in one sitting :), it's s bit of a bittersweet end I hope you all enjoyed it.


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